T-3 Months Before I Go

Today is April 24, 2017. The CBYX program year starts with an orientation seminar in Washington, D.C. on July 23, and then I leave for Germany on the 25th, so I figured it would be interesting to do some monthly updates before I go to record how I'm feeling and what I expect.

Last week, I got an email from the CBYX staff with a brief update. It was minimal, but a welcome reminder that they are working hard to prepare for the program year. Basically, it said that yes, things are happening, and no, they don't need anything else from us at the moment. Works for me.

As for how I'm feeling with 3 months (exactly 90 days...) before I go, well... it's hard to describe. I rotate between being scared, excited, stressed, and emotionless. Some days, I forget about it entirely--I've got a lot going on between finals, imminent facial surgery, moving out residents, and preparing to say goodbye to some of my friends and colleagues for a long time. I don't think the extreme distance and longevity of the program has kicked in yet.

I think the best way to describe my current focus would be to say that I'm living in the moment. I'm currently very focused on the present, mostly because I have to be. I haven't had the time to focus on analyzing my thoughts and emotions about the upcoming year, but right now, that might be considered a survival technique.

That's all I've really got for this update. It was brief, but I'm sure these monthly updates will become more and more interesting as my fate crystallizes before my eyes.

Bis bald!

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