Maggie (Without) Borders: My Year in Germany

Guess who's back [back] Back again (it's me) Every year, at least one person finds this blog and then reaches out to me for help with their own application, interview, or program year preparations... and I'm so happy every time that happens!!! I respond to every email that comes at me through my "Contact Me" page, so reach out!! Anyway, I wanted to write this post because I realized that I didn't have anything on here regarding the specifics of the interview. Most of the emails I get are from candidates who have gotten an interview and are curious about the process, so I will answer some of the most common questions about that here.  In the interest of full disclosure and transparency, I do want to mention that I am sitting on an interview panel this year (2022). I have not read or watched any of the interviewer training materials yet, and I will not look at them until this post is published. This post will not be edited or updated in any way after posting, an...

Fun fact: I've never flown internationally before. There's nothing like not really knowing what you're doing in a airport to make you feel like you are completely unprepared to spend a year by yourself. However, I am with 74 others, most of whom have flown internationally before, so that's comforting. My roommate-turned-friend, Paige, was helpful at keeping me sane going through security. Bless up for Paige. Walking to the terminal. No, that's not the German flag, that's the Belgian flag. I finally made it to my terminal and now have some much needed time to reflect. I keep telling myself that reality is setting in, but I don't know that it really ever is. It feels like I'm underwater, looking up into a haze of shapes that make up my future that are almost--but not quite--identifiable. My moments of clarity feel like I'm closer to the surface, bringing the shapes slightly more into focus, but I have yet to really come up and see what's...

I actually wrote this post yesterday while I was in the car on the way to D.C. but I didn't have Wi-Fi so I couldn't post it until now. Enjoy! ___________________________________ I didn’t think it would feel this way when I began packing, but starting to leave things feels incredibly surreal. Saying goodbye to some things feels real, but saying goodbye to some other things makes me wonder why I’m saying goodbye at all. Am I really leaving? Steadily, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve said goodbye to my family and friends. Some of them seem to understand the situation better than I do. I’ve cried while bidding farewell to some, but not others—not because I don’t love them, but because it still feels like I’m going to see them again really soon. I can’t really be leaving, right? Today, I finished packing. I finished cleaning my room, I ran errands, I swept the house, I did the dishes... you know, everything you do before you leave for a while. This time, though, I f...

"How exactly do you pack for a year abroad in Germany?" you may find yourself asking. Truth is, I have absolutely no idea. So far, I have been winging it. About a month ago, in a fit of productive boredom, I made an very detailed and extensive packing list. I gave myself limits for the number of things like tops/bottoms/dresses/shoes that I would bring, I brainstormed and documented all of the electronics and various cables I would need, the paperwork I should keep handy, and most importantly, what I needed and what I wanted.  That last bit is important--of course, nobody who has never been out of the country is magically prepared to spend a long time away from home. I needed some things like space bags, toiletry containers, certain kinds of pants and shoes, converters, etc. CBYX did something really handy a few weeks ago: they sent us a list of things previous participants were glad they brought along with a list of what they wish they hadn't brought. It has proven...

One of my good friends, Carolyn, was so kind as to remind me that I only have one week until I depart for D.C. and, from there, Germany. I'm a wreck, I'm losing my mind, I'm stressed, and I'm oh, so, so excited.  Back to freaking out. 

So. We're down to one. One single, minuscule, teeny-tiny month before I leave for Deutschland. I am freaking.  out.  Internally, of course. It is so insane to think that I will be packing up my belongings in a matter of weeks  to head off for the next year of my life. It is overwhelming to consider how challenging it will be. It is disorienting to realize that there is still so much  that I don't know about how I'll be living in Germany. And it's also really exciting. It's invigorating to know that all I'll have from home is one suitcase, a carry-on, and a backpack. It's thrilling to think about all the amazing experiences I'll have in two different, massive German cities. It's mind-boggling to realize I'll be speaking effortlessly in another language when I return. Realizing that this post was due became the focus of my whole day. Throughout the morning, afternoon, and evening I could wipe neither the smile from my cheeks nor the w...

As you know, the CBYX program year is divided into phases: the language school phase, the university phase, and the internship phase. I recently learned that I will be in Hamburg for the University phase, which is the second phase of the program. This, of course, still left me wondering where I would be for my first two months in Germany--the language school portion of the program. In a previous email, the CBYX staff (Katie) told us that we would be at one of three locations for language school, but she wasn't able to tell us where we would be just yet. I didn't really mind the wait; I knew that I would find out soon enough. I was right! For the language school phase, I will be in... Cologne!  Cologne (German: Köln) is in western Germany, halfway between the country's northern and southern borders. It is, like Hamburg, a large city with an urban population of just over 1 million. However, it is not a city-state--it is within the Bundesland Nordrhein-Westfalen. C...

As is the case for many 21-year-old females, my boyfriend plays a large role in my life. His name is Patrick, and I think he's the best. He's funny, smart, handsome, and annoys the bejeezus out of me. And I love him! Just look at his face: Look at him. No, look. LOOK AT HIM. He's a dream. When I asked him to respond to my questions, however... he was less of a dream. He was very hesitant about having his own post, and I don't blame him! But, after all, he is a big part of my life, and people ask what he thinks about the fact that I'll be gone for a year. Being that he will be hiking the Appalachian Trail for half of that year, he's somewhat indifferent, but I'll let him take it from here! Patrick How did you feel when I told you that I got accepted? I was so excited for you because I know that it’s something that you’ve been working toward for a very long time, and because we found out during our Spring Break trip (and your 21 st bi...

This will be a quick update, but I got exciting news that I couldn't wait to share. I found out my Bundesland placement (for after the language school phase), and... I'll be in Saarland  Hamburg! You may be wondering why there's a line through the word "Saarland." Well, because life is life and stuff happens, literally 12 hours after I posted the original version of this blog post (when I thought was going to placed in Saarland), I got an email saying that they found a better program for me in Hamburg. In the interest of keeping this blog as honest and thorough as possible, the rest of the original post is at the bottom.  I'll be honest, I was a little bummed that my placement changed. Of course  I'm thrilled that they found a better placement for me, but at the same time I had already gotten myself excited about Saarland. It's in the south, it borders two other countries, it's not a big, international city, it has 6 Michelin Star restaur...

Naturally, one of the first questions that people ask me is, "How do your parents feel about this?" So I figured I would answer that in the first post in my Gedanken series. Without further ado, here's what my parents think--I haven't edited their responses at all, so enjoy! My Dad How did you feel when I told you I got accepted into the program? I was, and am, thrilled.  This represents what every parent wants…for their daughter to get out into the world and have a life that’s richer than theirs.  I’m excited and jealous at the same time. How comfortable are you with the fact that I’m leaving and will never return just kidding but that I won’t come back for a whole year? As you might expect, I’m a bit pensive.  But missing you for a year is a small price to pay for the learning experience that I believe you’ll have. What are you worried about? My great fear is that your hosts and/or cohorts and you won’t get along, because that would flavor eve...

One of the questions I field most frequently when I tell people that I'm going abroad for a year is, "How does _________ feel about it?" More often than not, people fill in the blank with "your parents" or "your boyfriend" and I'm never really sure how to answer. I know the people around me are excited for me and will miss me, but I'm not them, I don't know exactly how they would respond to being asked directly. After inadequately trying to answer this question about a hundred times, I realized that I really do want to know what the people close to me think and that I should showcase their thoughts here. I realized, generally speaking, that the thoughts and feelings of family and friends take up significant mental space when you're trying to make big decisions, and my decision to participate in CBYX was no exception. So, in the interest of thoroughly documenting my own experience, I figured I had to start documenting thoughts of my u...

This post is really scary because it feels neither like it's been a month since my 3 month pre-departure post nor like I only have 2 months left in the States. Anyway... I've been enjoying the start of my summer. I'm unemployed for the first time since high school, so I've been able to do whatever I want (which is equal parts freeing and annoying). I've spent my time cleaning, cooking, exercising, gardening, and generally enjoying my newfound lack of obligation. I've also been avoiding thinking about CBYX, and my imminent departure. I received another pre-departure email, which means I've been checking things off of that to-do list, but other than that, I try not to dwell on the fact that I'm leaving home very, very soon. It's becoming steadily more and more real that this is really happening, and that things are going to be strikingly different than the life I've known for the past 17 years. I was speaking to my boyfriend's (wonderful)...

You don't have to tell me that my posts heretofore have been strikingly, astonishingly, remarkably, painfully, dreadfully boring. I know there are, and I'm sorry, but I have a reason, I swear! Disclaimer: this post will also be boring. When I was searching for details about CBYX and personal experiences in the program, I had a really hard time finding anything. I found a singular blog that had been abandoned for months at a time and, as a result, was largely unhelpful to me. I wanted to know what applying was like, what to expect in the interview, and how previous participants felt throughout the entire program. The CBYX staff is very good at being blunt and honest about the difficulty but also the awesomeness of the program year, but I wanted to know the personal thoughts and experiences of those who experienced it. Upon not really finding what I was looking for, I decided that, were I to be accepted to participate, I would be that resource by writing a public blog about...

Today is April 24, 2017. The CBYX program year starts with an orientation seminar in Washington, D.C. on July 23, and then I leave for Germany on the 25th, so I figured it would be interesting to do some monthly updates before I go to record how I'm feeling and what I expect. Last week, I got an email from the CBYX staff with a brief update. It was minimal, but a welcome reminder that they are working hard to prepare for the program year. Basically, it said that yes, things are happening, and no, they don't need anything else from us at the moment. Works for me. As for how I'm feeling with 3 months (exactly 90 days...) before I go, well... it's hard to describe. I rotate between being scared, excited, stressed, and emotionless. Some days, I forget about it entirely--I've got a lot going on between finals, imminent facial surgery, moving out residents, and preparing to say goodbye to some of my friends and colleagues for a long time. I don't think the extreme...