Between Worlds
Fun fact: I've never flown internationally before.
There's nothing like not really knowing what you're doing in a airport to make you feel like you are completely unprepared to spend a year by yourself. However, I am with 74 others, most of whom have flown internationally before, so that's comforting. My roommate-turned-friend, Paige, was helpful at keeping me sane going through security. Bless up for Paige.
I finally made it to my terminal and now have some much needed time to reflect. I keep telling myself that reality is setting in, but I don't know that it really ever is. It feels like I'm underwater, looking up into a haze of shapes that make up my future that are almost--but not quite--identifiable. My moments of clarity feel like I'm closer to the surface, bringing the shapes slightly more into focus, but I have yet to really come up and see what's out there. I don't think that's going to happen until I've spent about a week with my host family and come to the realization that it's my life, not a vacation. I've been trying to actually comprehend what exactly it is that I'm doing, but I think I have to just sit back and experience it as opposed to actively working to understand the implications of my actions in the short and long term.
For the most part, I'm trying to approach each day as an individual experience that I'm making the most of. That has sort of gone out the window as I've gone through orientation. I'm trying to regain that perspective, but in the meantime it's been interesting to consider the fact that, in a few hours, I'll be speaking German. In a few hours, I'll be staying in a castle (what whaaat). In a few hours, I'll be jetlagged to hell and back and trying to recover rapidly. I've decided, from this point on, I'm just not thinking about my future.
On that note, I'm going to sit in my terminal and nurse this headache I've developed. See you in Germany!
There's nothing like not really knowing what you're doing in a airport to make you feel like you are completely unprepared to spend a year by yourself. However, I am with 74 others, most of whom have flown internationally before, so that's comforting. My roommate-turned-friend, Paige, was helpful at keeping me sane going through security. Bless up for Paige.
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| Walking to the terminal. No, that's not the German flag, that's the Belgian flag. |
I finally made it to my terminal and now have some much needed time to reflect. I keep telling myself that reality is setting in, but I don't know that it really ever is. It feels like I'm underwater, looking up into a haze of shapes that make up my future that are almost--but not quite--identifiable. My moments of clarity feel like I'm closer to the surface, bringing the shapes slightly more into focus, but I have yet to really come up and see what's out there. I don't think that's going to happen until I've spent about a week with my host family and come to the realization that it's my life, not a vacation. I've been trying to actually comprehend what exactly it is that I'm doing, but I think I have to just sit back and experience it as opposed to actively working to understand the implications of my actions in the short and long term.
For the most part, I'm trying to approach each day as an individual experience that I'm making the most of. That has sort of gone out the window as I've gone through orientation. I'm trying to regain that perspective, but in the meantime it's been interesting to consider the fact that, in a few hours, I'll be speaking German. In a few hours, I'll be staying in a castle (what whaaat). In a few hours, I'll be jetlagged to hell and back and trying to recover rapidly. I've decided, from this point on, I'm just not thinking about my future.
On that note, I'm going to sit in my terminal and nurse this headache I've developed. See you in Germany!
I don't dread exclamation points! You just use them more than dad does haha. The castle I'm currently staying in isn't very big at all, but I'll go on about that in my next post :)
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