An Aside: CBYX While In a Relationship
One thing people seem to doubt is the fact that I'm participating in this year abroad while in a committed relationship. For some, that may seem crazy. People say I'm going to experience a totally different country for a year, so how can I possibly dive into a new culture headfirst when I'm anchored so strongly to my life back in the US? How can my relationship be strong enough to spend a year apart with less and less frequent communication? Why would I do this when I'm in college and don't have to force myself into adulthood just yet?
Those are fair questions for someone who isn't me, and who isn't in a relationship with Pat. I'm in Germany because I needed to experience it for myself, and I know that I will learn so much and be a better person for it. Pat supports my personal and intellectual growth, so he's incredibly happy for me and listens to me blab on about my new experiences. Our relationship is strong because we choose to make it strong. We don't keep secrets (other than the constant surprise gifts we seem to devise for one another...), we don't lie to one another, we talk out all of our problems in depth to ensure no misunderstanding, and we approach any disagreement with the mindset that the other is being the best partner they can. Obviously, we do disagree sometimes, but I think that one of our biggest strengths as a pair is that, above all else, we both choose to respect each other. Lastly, it's beyond worth it to struggle through the difficulty of a long-distance relationship if you love each other in a healthy, supportive way. He's my best friend, how could I bear to lose that?
People also ask about how I feel that he's hiking the Appalachian Trail while I'm away. To be honest, I was so excited that he chose to do it while I was gone--it means that he and I will both be on our own (very different) adventures for a while, and then we'll come back together and have so many stories and experiences to share. Sure, we'll communicate less, but when we do communicate, it will be so refreshing and interesting. I also know that hiking the AT is something that he needs to do for himself. Once again, being supportive and respectful of each others' needs and desires comes to the forefront.
Not everyone has a relationship that can withstand this sort of strain. Of course, I can't be sure that mine will, but I think it's worth doing all I can to try to make it work.
Anyway, I wanted to cover this topic because people seem to ask a lot of questions about it, and it is an important part of my own, personal CBYX experience. Most of my fellow participants are single, and understandably so. Should they choose to do so, they're going to have a great time exploring what romance is like in a new country. I came here to focus on me and only me, so I'm happy that that's one subject I don't even have to think about.
S/o to Pat for being amazing.
Those are fair questions for someone who isn't me, and who isn't in a relationship with Pat. I'm in Germany because I needed to experience it for myself, and I know that I will learn so much and be a better person for it. Pat supports my personal and intellectual growth, so he's incredibly happy for me and listens to me blab on about my new experiences. Our relationship is strong because we choose to make it strong. We don't keep secrets (other than the constant surprise gifts we seem to devise for one another...), we don't lie to one another, we talk out all of our problems in depth to ensure no misunderstanding, and we approach any disagreement with the mindset that the other is being the best partner they can. Obviously, we do disagree sometimes, but I think that one of our biggest strengths as a pair is that, above all else, we both choose to respect each other. Lastly, it's beyond worth it to struggle through the difficulty of a long-distance relationship if you love each other in a healthy, supportive way. He's my best friend, how could I bear to lose that?
People also ask about how I feel that he's hiking the Appalachian Trail while I'm away. To be honest, I was so excited that he chose to do it while I was gone--it means that he and I will both be on our own (very different) adventures for a while, and then we'll come back together and have so many stories and experiences to share. Sure, we'll communicate less, but when we do communicate, it will be so refreshing and interesting. I also know that hiking the AT is something that he needs to do for himself. Once again, being supportive and respectful of each others' needs and desires comes to the forefront.
Not everyone has a relationship that can withstand this sort of strain. Of course, I can't be sure that mine will, but I think it's worth doing all I can to try to make it work.
Anyway, I wanted to cover this topic because people seem to ask a lot of questions about it, and it is an important part of my own, personal CBYX experience. Most of my fellow participants are single, and understandably so. Should they choose to do so, they're going to have a great time exploring what romance is like in a new country. I came here to focus on me and only me, so I'm happy that that's one subject I don't even have to think about.
S/o to Pat for being amazing.
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